


skeletons in the closet

by celticdrum



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: Alternate Universe, Cynicism, Gen, M/M, Major Character Injury, Social Commentary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-20
Updated: 2014-01-20
Packaged: 2018-01-09 10:37:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1144964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celticdrum/pseuds/celticdrum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Changmin's lifelong goal is easy: he's not going to be the star that burnt too bright.</p>
            </blockquote>





	skeletons in the closet

**Author's Note:**

> written for [homin-holidays @ lj](http://homin-holidays.livejournal.com/); for [jesusluvsjaeho @ lj](http://jesusluvsjaeho.livejournal.com/)

Yunho has always been red. The red of fire. The red of the rising sun, the red of passion.   
  
He was red when Changmin first saw him. Changmin had his nose buried in his books and the television across the room had Yunho being interviewed by reporters. How does it feel to be the youngest member of the World Cup Squad for this year? What is your secret to success? Many of our university students are taking their exams now, do you have any advise for them?   
  
They would only know each other a few years after that, but Changmin's impression of Yunho doesn't change.   
  
Yunho has always said that Changmin's the sea, calm and unpredictable. A little soothing at times, a little fiery at times, a little whimsical maybe, a little steady perhaps, a little like a stranger, a little like home. Changmin's the opposite of him, he says, the water to his fire, and he likes Changmin like that. Changmin's a little scary at times, all the tiny demands that come with his tolerance. Changmin's a little lovely most of the time, pretty and precious and many other things.   
  
He's red now, flaming with pride and bliss because he's on his way to become the hero that he had been speaking about when Changmin first saw him on that television screen.   
  
  
  
  
  
The drama writers would love Yunho's story: boy works hard at something, boy falls in love at first with a girl, boy promises girl that he will return to her once he becomes successful, girl waits but the wait is too long so she moves on, boy gets heartbroken, boy chases girl, repeatedly, boy doesn't give up and promises of a sunny future, girl makes up her mind and gets engaged, and finally boy gets rejected in the rain.   
  
What they would probably edit from Yunho's story is everything that happens after that: boy gets another boy to wait with him in the rain, the other boy drags the boy away when it's nightfall and storm threatens, the other boy resorts to actually dragging him home, boys falls sick, the other boy nurses him back to health, boy takes quite a bit of time but he eventually falls for the other boy.   
  
He probably soon lives happily ever after, but it's not Changmin's place to say anything about it.   
  
  
  
  
  
Changmin has always heard the same old words from people, neighbours and relatives: you're such a brilliant young man, such a bright future ahead, you're a pride of your parents. But Changmin has always known what they were really thinking inside, that the Shim family's son is just too smart, he will burn one day, like all stars that would eventually lose their shine.   
  
Changmin's lifelong goal is easy: he's not going to be the star that burnt too bright.   
  
  
  
  
  
Nobody in Korea is capable of not having seen Yunho at least once. The rookie star of the football scene who came from the bench to score that goal that clinched them a place in the World Cup semifinals, face plastered all over the billboards and newspaper and social media, now in the waiting room, waiting to seek consultations of Dr Choi, one of the nation's best orthopedic surgeons, thick cast wrapping his right knee.   
  
  
  
  
  
The thing about society at large is that everybody is a hypocrite, everybody judges everyone else, everybody has skeletons inside their closets. Too cowardly to refuse conformity, too eager to please—and that was how Changmin chose to become a plastic surgeon.   
  
Yunho complains a lot about plastic surgeons. Because you guys are like mushroooms, flourishing as our nation sinks deeper into the pithole of obsession for youth and beauty, and that's why we are like this, forever lamenting how inadequate we are.   
  
He always like the confident ones, Changmin remembers. Those who are unafraid to show him their closet of skeletons, those soul-crushing amount complexes and smile at him before saying,  _show me yours?_  Yunho is easy to figure out, actually. He likes to talk, he likes to explore, he likes to analyse. He's calm and attentive, he says nice things to people, he tells Changmin that he's wonderful. Changmin, you're firm and steady, you try really hard, you work very hard, you're smart, you're brilliant, you're handsome.   
  
Sometimes it seems like Changmin's the ice to Yunho's water, but Yunho's an untameable spirit, he says whatever he wants and whenever he wants. It's not like Changmin has much of a choice, really.   
  
  
  
  
  
The day after Changmin first saw Yunho in the hospital, the news headlines wrote:   
  
 _Falling Star: Nation's youngest goal scorer is now the nation's youngest retired footballer._  
  
Burnt too bright, fell too fast. This Jung Yunho, it's almost like he's what people around Changmin expected him to end up as. 99% of the people he knows probably don't know that the concept of schadenfruede existed but they live gloriously in it, the only remedy to their constant sprouts of jealousy.   
  
But why would he, really—screw what people think, Changmin's new life goal is to avoid being the star that burnt too bright,  _at all costs._  
  
  
  
  
  
Yunho spoke to him first.   
  
Hi doctor, do you mind helping me pick up my phone from the ground? I can't really bend, my leg's a little bad now.   
  
  
  
  
  
In the end they are just two lonely people, jaded with the world and the society and their obsession for all the things that sparkle. Changmin's entire career is built on things that don't sparkle, sprinkle some magic dust and give them some shine. Fix this thing, correct that one, draw up plans to maintain the shine, it's not what they are made of it's what they look like, just like stones painted with glitter.   
  
Yunho was once gold sprinkled with glitter, and now that's he's broken he's nothing more than just a stone with faded glitter. At first it was just a few months, Dr Choi said. Stretched ligament was the diagnosis, probably because he was using his knee to protect himself from the fall. Then Dr Choi found more things that stretched, especially some nearby tendons, and he said to Yunho, a year at least. Yunho said never mind, I will take half the time to heal, as though quoting some manga character.   
  
Then Dr Choi said that he probably could never play like he did before. The more they examined him, the more cracks they found.   
  
Changmin has never seen Yunho cry, but nurses sometimes report about wet pillow sheets.   
  
  
  
  
  
Changmin went to him much later after Yunho first spoke to him.   
  
I was your fan, you inspired me.   
  
One day he will ask Yunho how it felt like to see one of Changmin's skeletons before they even really knew each other.   
  
  
  
  
  
The thing that made Yunho a national heartthrob wasn't how he played or how many goals he scored, but what he said.   
  
I believe in working hard, I believe in the best of people, I believe that hard work pays.   
  
Changmin did some research and discovered that Yunho was almost rejected by the national coach, withdrawing just in time to request for the coach to watch him shoot all 20 balls into the goal, 50 metres away from the goal line.   
  
That somehow convinced Changmin to do something crazy and it made no sense at all, but that was the real story on how he ended up choosing plastic surgery as his major.   
  
  
  
  
  
True to his words, Yunho took only 9 months to recover from kneecap injury, 3 more months to train back in shape to play and now, 18 months after his fall, he's back on the team.   
  
When asked about his major sources of motivation, he cited 3 things: his refusal to lose to the injury, his own pride, and a certain plastic surgeon who helped him recover.   
  
  
  
  
  
The drama writers wouldn't really love Changmin's story: a boy too successful to find a girl that matches him so he shrugs them all away, a boy meets another boy, the other boy is in pain, both boys are actually in pain, so boy goes to the other boy and says, let me help you.   
  
Maybe he'll live happily ever after, maybe he won't. It's not like it really matters.   
  
  
  
  
  
Changmin gets a call from Yunho when he gets a nod from the national coach to rejoin the team.   
  
Thank you, Changmin, Yunho says, over and over again.   
  
For what? Changmin did many things, Changmin did nothing, not like it matters either way.   
  
For everything, Yunho says.   
  
  
  
  
  
Changmin is wonderful, Yunho says to the reporters. Changmin is patient with me. Changmin watched me fall, Changmin raised me up.   
  
I might be the star in people's eyes but for me, Changmin will always be the one that shines the brightest.   
  
  
  
  
  
One day, Changmin finds Yunho trying to walk in the garden.   
  
Hyung, I may not seem like it but I'm pretty smart, would you let me help you?   


 

Would it be ok for me to show you the other skeletons in my closet?

  
  
  
  
  
  
The drama writers would love their story: two lonely, disillusioned people coming together, overcoming their pains and finding new meanings in life, and Changmin sees their story as an art film in grayscale—the world has always been bland and rotten, and perhaps colours aren't always necessary.   
  
  
  
  
  
What is everything, Changmin wants to ask, but Yunho loves to talk, so Yunho fires straight ahead, like he could read Changmin's mind.   
  
You were there for me.


End file.
